After a long winter...

I have not been well. This autumn and winter have hit me hard, and while nothing big has been wrong, it has also been hard to find anything that is right. Depression and burnout. I have finally taken a month off to be on sick leave as well as went to therapy, gotten medications and talked with lots of friends and colleagues. I am loved. I am liked. I am appreciated by others and I have to learn to love and like myself as well. 
The timing of these things is never good. I "had to" write research applications, I have some co-authored research papers in the pipeline. Other people are dependent on me turning up and writing. And I have turned up. And I only allowed myself to exhale when the last urgent-urgent deadline of yet another application has been past. And I took my break. 
And now I am back, I am learning to walk more slowly. I am learning to take things in less of a rushed tempo. I take on tasks I enjoy and love. But it is hard to use this as the only parameter for taking on a task or not taking on a task. Because I love my work. I enjoy a lot of things and there are only a few things I don't enjoy about my work. So, I have to learn to say no to things I love. Because I am loved, I am liked and I need to be there/here for many more moons to come. Take care, love your writing, but love yourself more.